@1Bad_Scientist: I'm at my most British when she says "teabag me" and I drop a sack of Earl Grey in her mouth.
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@slimmy_shady: When I was having an affair with twins, people used to ask how I told them apart. Well, Sue had brown eyes and Steve had a moustache.
@mrsmith196645: Nothing scares me more than when my husband answers me and I'm left wondering just how much he's actually been listening.