@1Bad_Scientist: I'm at my most British when she says "teabag me" and I drop a sack of Earl Grey in her mouth.
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@dubstep4dads: *counting sheep before bed* *jesus walks in your room* "I noticed there weren't any black sheep. what's up man. we gonna have a problem?"
@Storminika: I donate blood 5 times a year just so I'm less and less related to some of my relatives.
@ReeseButCallMeV: My niece said I look like a mom. So now we're playing a game, sorta like Hide-N-Seek, except I hide her and no one finds her. Ever.