@perfect_boxx: I'm at my most cardio when I am moving the treadmill into storage
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@FancyNancyAnn: I hate when I drop my chili cheese dog in my car and then I have to eat my whole car.
@Playing_Dad: Teacher: Does anyone have questions? Me: If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner? T: Holy Shit
@TheMichaelRock: Caller: Is Mr. Rock available? Me: Yeah, hold on. *hands phone to 5yo* Me: It's grandma, buddy. Tell her about Caillou.
@WheelTod: [First Date] Paige Turner: I've been unlucky in love. I feel like people expect me to be more exciting Cliff Hanger: Weird. I get that too