@ISOremarkable: I'm at my most Liam Neeson when my food is missing from the employee fridge.
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@dreamthievin: If I have 5 apples and I give you 2 of them, just take the other 3 cause I'm going out for tacos
@OhNoSheTwitnt: No thanks, babies. If I'm going to let something inside of my body that's going to destroy my figure, it'll be cheese, bread and booze.
@squirrel74wkgn: I tried sliding across the hood of my Camaro, but my pony tail got caught in the windshield wiper.
@SteveSuckington: Is it still illegal to run someone over with your car if they're wearing camouflage?