@cynthiajones11: I'm at my most Michael Phelps when I find out someone has peed in the pool.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Chase_Observes: Don’t believe in aliens, huh? Explain how people in the 1800s got on top of those bicycles with the huge front wheels.
@BaileysIrishTom: What's the best way to remove a grass stain? Alcohol? I don't see how getting drunk will help, but whatever.
@ch000ch: hoarder on TV: pls help me doc therapist: of course. lets start by throwing out all these anime posters. we'll take them to my car
@KenJennings: Guy at the park who just put out his cigar and started doing tai chi is my new fitness guru.