@TheBeerGuy73: I'm at my most Ninja Turtle when I remove a manhole cover & jump into the sewers to avoid making eye contact with someone I know in public.
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@Izianikapani: Given my love of animals and hatred of housework, I predict my cause of death will be choking on a fur ball.
@lazerdoov: Genie: I shall grant you three wis- Me: I wish my ex would fall back in love with me Genie: here's the thing Jeff, Kate's with me now...
@GlennyRodge: My bear's diarrhoea problems are starting to worry me. The vet says he's getting better but he's not out of the woods yet.