@TheBeerGuy73: I'm at my most Ninja Turtle when I remove a manhole cover & jump into the sewers to avoid making eye contact with someone I know in public.
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@hangin_out: During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
@reinert03: Somebody left a baby at my front door today, and I have no idea what to do with it. I just hope it's gone by tomorrow.
@RollAroundSue: Finished my 2nd glass of wine. Husband doesn't know it yet but he has a 30 second window of getting laid before I pass ou