@TheBeerGuy73: I'm at my most Ninja Turtle when I remove a manhole cover & jump into the sewers to avoid making eye contact with someone I know in public.
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@WilliamAder: We're throwing a surprise retirement party for a guy at the office and the "party" isn't the surprise.
@Springaling85: Walking up to guys with girls with them and saying "you never called! Our son is 5 now" then walk away....always brightens my day
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Celebrity divorce statements remind us of the names they gave their kids. "We want to focus on raising our children, Shoe and Turbo Pickle."