@PeachesMcPeach: I'm at my sexiest when I'm at a stoplight and a teenage boy is checking me out then suddenly realizes his horrific mistake.
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@Dawn_M_: "Women don't like me, idk why?" "Maybe it's because they sense you're a psycho who will decapitate their cat?" "No, that can't be it."
@Fred_Delicious: "son, did i ever tell you about how I served in Nom?" "dad, don't you mean Nam?" "sorry son i ate a small cake at the end of that sentence"