@lisaxy424: I'm at the point in my life where "friend with benefits" just means a person who gives me their Bed Bath & Beyond coupons.
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@Puercotron: HER: Are you a dog or cat person? BRAIN:*be cool, she seems pretty great* ME: Whatever you want to eat is fine. BRAIN: *nailed it*
@Chicken_Hawk38: Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.
@dafloydsta: 1. OMG will this ever end? 2. OMG will this ever end? 3. OMG will this ever end? -top 3 things on my mind when I'm in a a conversation
@KellyMeldrum: I'm not usually vengeful, but when I am it's because someone gave my kid a whistle.