@BestWorstAdvice: I'm beginning to think that Judas Priest might not be a Christian rock band.
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@ComedicBust: ME: I’ll try and fix it. What’s your password? GRANDMA: Rough&Raw69 ME: Well then, I can probably guess what’s wrong with your computer...
@Playing_Dad: [On a date] *Don't let her know you're a dog* Girl: Do you want to...maybe go for a walk after this? *starts running in circles going crazy*
@NicestHippo: If you're going to call people who aren't yet born "the unborn" then you have to call people who aren't yet dead "the undead"
@BatBatshitcrazy: Rum: We've replaced her depth perception with fun house mirrors, now we wait. *misses last two stairs, face plants* Rum: tee-hee