@TheBeerGuy73: I'm bringing sexy backward.
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@Awk0Tacoo: Cat: Human, congratulations, I've chosen your face to sleep upon tonight. If at some point you cannot breathe, do not wake me.
@HatfieldAnne: The orthodontist says I'm doing a “super job” wearing my retainers. All this really means is that I'm able to put things in my mouth.
@OfficialMizGin: I hate it when a guy pulls out a chair in front of me. I’m never sure if he’s a gentleman or a chair thief.