@SaraThomas84: I'm convinced that people are now just getting married and having babies to have something to post on FB
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@ItsAndyRyan: "Two messages, Sir. First, your tea has run out" "Correct English is 'you've run out of tea'. What else?" "You've walked out of wife"
@Papa_Mex: I bet Vegans that become zombies must really struggle with the whole brain-eating lifestyle...
@Reverend_Scott: Me: [opens up lunch at work to find an African Lion] if this is here, then- Zookeeper: [opens his lunch and is mauled by a ham sandwich on rye]
@Dutch_50: I found a bat in my basement & my first reaction was to run to the door so the light could get in, because I saw it done in a vampire movie.