@Lalaw143: I'm currently in a very serious relationship ,we don't even smile .
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@chuuew: FARMER: can I help you, sir? ME: this ain't my first rodeo, buddy FARMER: [narrows eyes] ME: ok maybe it is [climbs off sheep]
@Ygrene: [Being murdered at Walmart] Please will you dump my dead body at Target people can't know I shopped here
@IslandsJunk: Win a Canadian marathon by putting a door just before the finish line and having them all wait for you to go through first.