@TequilaTears: I'm following around cop cars all day to let them know how it feels.
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@shutupmikeginn: The Whole Foods next to this movie theater is perfect if you want to sneak in your own snacks, but don't want to save a lot of money.
@DothTheDoth: Horror movies have given me an unrealistic expectation about finding an armoire with a false back where a ghost lives.
@BadMikeyBad: Thanks to SnapChat filters I'm now sexually attracted to girl rabbits, bats, and cocker spaniels
@Moldy_Jellybean: Just when I manage to convince myself that I am a superior and more intelligent being, I walk into a door.