@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest you in despair and disappointments?
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@hazelmotes1: Aliens are in space right now watching all these movies where Tom Cruise defeats them, and they are laughing so hard one just peed a little.
@mejustbeth: It seems like I only lose weight when I don't buy ice cream. Can someone else start buying my ice cream for me please?
@cjwerleman: Today your brother-in-law will announce his plan to defeat ISIS. Happy Thanksgiving.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: *Goes to Czechoslovakia to shop for a car with Automatic Braking System *Czechs for ABS