@steveolivas: I'm gaining weight because it's hard to carry around this much "awesome" in a standard-sized body.
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@Adar79Angie: I'd make a horrible movie murder victim.When I hear strange noises in the night I roll over and figure, eh, they'll work themselves out.
@Cheeseboy22: My son is petrified of thunder. I told him that is ridiculous, it's the lightning that will kill him.
@chimneyspotter: DAVID ATTENBOROUGH: Sadly, this male's efforts to prepare a nest for mating are all in vain [me crying on top of a half-put on fitted sheet]
@alizmay: Pregnancy test commercials would be a lot more relatable if the women in them cursed and cried.