@zachreinert03: I'm getting a restraining order against my debt collectors. As much as they call me it's really just starting to come across as desperate
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@ElleOhHell: "We're a completely paperless office." Wow, that's really cool. [Later, staring at iPad dispenser in bathroom] Well this sucks.
@suzieQ0007: Most people who think I'm a nice person have no idea that I'd trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza.
@Death_Buddy: *gets down to snails level* IF YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET TO THEN I CAN HELP YOU GET THERE FASTER.
@gerryhatric: A man was arrested on Brighton beach today for throwing pebbles at the sea birds. He was accused of having left no tern unstoned.