@Jason_Horton: I'm getting mixed signals from this girl first she is like "sorry I'm married" then it's "leave me alone I'm married" I mean which is it
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@Sickayduh: A sitar solo so complex and mind melting that the one guy who knows what a sitar is claps
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Historical fact: The term "bro" originated over a hundred million years ago and was short for brontosaurus.
@TheNardvark: Just got my invitation to Lady Gaga's wedding reception. I can choose between beef or chicken. Not for the meal, that's the dress code.
@flashember: *wakes up in the belly of a whale* me: this can't be happening again morgan freeman: but it was, he was in the belly of a whale again