@Jason_Horton: I'm getting mixed signals from this girl first she is like "sorry I'm married" then it's "leave me alone I'm married" I mean which is it
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@Sarcasmo718: Taking your shirt off when fighting is a great way to tell the cops who to arrest.
@roadsidephil: Saw a "Toby Keith's I Love This Bar" that went out of business. Apparently he was the only one.
@Smooheed: Standing behind a hot guy on a treadmill saying 'don't worry baby, I'll catch you if you fall' makes him run for a really really long time
@Abusitron: I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard.