@rocknthepurple: I'm getting to the age where I could be a cougar, but Wikipedia says cougars are "slender and agile" which pretty much rules that out.
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@mikealfredcaine: my cousin jeff died today. sent flowers to the family with a little card saying "jeff is dead" so they know what the flowers are for
@PaperWash: Find everything OK, sir? Everything except happiness! You won't find that at Wal-Mart! We laughed & laughed until my credit card declined
@Ygrene: [being murdered] Me: did you get that knife out of the dishwasher Murderer: …yes Me: and you didnt empty it Murderer: [murder roles reverse]