@rocknthepurple: I'm getting to the age where I could be a cougar, but Wikipedia says cougars are "slender and agile" which pretty much rules that out.
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@Bexdora: INTERVIEWER: It says here you can communicate telepathically? ME: IN: Is this an ability you have always had? ME: IN: Please say something.
@TheAlexNevil: How come when a child shouts "This is dumb" at a wedding it's considered cute, but when I do it, I'm immediately replaced by another priest?
@AimeeHelene1: *wears reindeer antlers* *innocently smiles* *bats eyelashes* *steals your wallet*
@ocourtneyno: When you accidentally type "me" instead of "my" I read your tweets as if you are a leprechaun.