@rocknthepurple: I'm getting to the age where I could be a cougar, but Wikipedia says cougars are "slender and agile" which pretty much rules that out.
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@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Says here you have sloth-like reflexes? ME: *calls interviewer 3 years later* That is correct.
@heymermaid: Stop saying I'm my own worst enemy. My worst enemy is Johan, from the stables; I want him dismissed, but he's curried such favor with father
@kumailn: Shocking that people who've been physically assaulting each other for 3 hours would lose their tempers.
@Mellicubed: My fire alarm just went off because I took my shower. Ya, I know I'm hot when I'm naked, but come on now, let's all just calm down.