@rocknthepurple: I'm getting to the age where I could be a cougar, but Wikipedia says cougars are "slender and agile" which pretty much rules that out.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Brampersandon_: INTERVIEWER: this says u work well with otters. Did u mean others? ME (shoving a romp of otters back into my briefcase): haha yeah of course
@audipenny: Bad credit? No credit? First time buyer? First time baby? No legs? 8 legs? You a spider? Are you a Spider trying to buy a house?
@LilBlueBlood: Whenever I have to park in a bad neighbourhood I leave my Blackberry in plain sight so people know there's nothing worth stealing in my car