@joeljeffrey: I'm glad chocolate bars come with resealable packages, so I can eat half now, and the other half 1 minute from now.
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@pungodly: Apparently "I don't like scary movies," is not an appropriate response to being asked to watch a wedding video.
@Black__Elvis: Bad news: you're unable to get pregnant. Oh no! Is it my uterus, doctor? No, your eHarmony profile says you've seen Star Wars 13 times.
@thatguyJA: I'm confused, why does the Gangnam Style guy want to launch a nuclear attack on the US?
@JamesonN7: Lawyers out there, if I see any of my Tweets being used on Comedy Central can I sue..... Oh you don't think that will ever be an issue, okay