@joeljeffrey: I'm glad chocolate bars come with resealable packages, so I can eat half now, and the other half 1 minute from now.
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@WheelTod: Prank: if you're standing at a busy intersection light beside a guy staring at his phone take 2 steps forward & see if he walks into traffic
@KenJennings: Landlocked countries with beach volleyball teams: who do you think you're fooling?
@wankcity: "more like president PAJAMA" *obama jumps into pj's, congress full of 12 year olds is pleased*
@Girl_Censored: I'm not a jealous person but seriously, if you star her tweets one more time I'm going to squeeze the balls of this vodoo doll so hard...