@brandynwiththey: I'm glad Pitbull always announces his name right away so I know when to turn the radio off.
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@kelkulus: A dating app called "Hinder" where some guy shows up in the middle of every date and ruins everything.
@pixelatedboat: "Predators are essential for a healthy ecosystem," I explained as I released a bobcat into the airduct
@SodomyClown: The worst feeling in the world is being in love with somebody that knows how to untie rope and run away while you're napping.