@mind_numb: I'm going start wearing a cape instead of headphones to deter people from talking to me.
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@primawesome: What's with these people who take a sip of their coffee as soon as they get it? Who are these iron-mouthed warriors?
@DaddyJew: Her: have you had the sex talk with our son yet? Me: *looks over at son wearing crocs* I think we can wait a few years
@peachesanscream: What if your dog speaks French and this whole time has been asking you for some beef?