@mind_numb: I'm going start wearing a cape instead of headphones to deter people from talking to me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@leehopkins: Anti-gay preacher comes to Iceland. Locals buy all tickets to his event in Reykjavik, and then don't turn up, leaving empty arena. Class.
@SteveSuckington: [2nd time at girls house] "where's your dog?" Oh he isn't mine. I was dog sitting [makes text alert sound w mouth] "Its work. I gotta go"
@Reverend_Scott: [funeral] He looks so natural. Ya, but he looks a little stiff. *raises from the dead* "That's what... *gargle* ...she said." *dies again*
@stevevsninjas: How Animals React To Smoke DEER: Bounds away. MOLE: Retreats to deep tunnel. BEES, WHO LIVE IN A HOME MADE OF ACTUAL CANDLE WAX: Naptime!