@mind_numb: I'm going start wearing a cape instead of headphones to deter people from talking to me.
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@CheetoBandito77: Eating a solid brick of Ramen is probably the easiest way to remember I need to pay the water bill.
@mewchainz: My sister said she had strange cravings and an enhanced sense of smell so she must be pregnant, but I secretly thought, "werewolf."
@Try2StopME: Doctors would be pretty cool superheroes except for the fact their weakness is apples.
@crylenol: VAN GOGH: Go on, open it. You'll like it. Much better than last year. GIRL: It isn't another ear is it, Vince? VAN GOGH: what