@NintenDom: I'm going to name my first kid Authorized Personnel so they can go wherever they want in life.
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@QwertyJones3: [during sex] ME: I'm Italian, how about you? HER: Finnish ME: Ok sure just give me a second
@AimeeHelene1: *yells at husband* I can't make it fit! It won't fit! Him: Just turn it a little. Me: *screams in excitement* We finished the puzzle!!
@Sleinso: I am at my most drunk when I go from chat room to chat room yelling WHO STOLE MY POPTART!!
@TheToxicWaster: I walked a girl down into the dark woods. She said it's very scary. I said how do you think i feel i have to walk back alone..