@ilovepie84: "I'm going to show off my new belt by tucking in my T-shirt" -Men over 50.
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@bearloverbobby: I went to AT&T and asked for a sim card. They told me I had to call them to activate it. See the problem...
@petemandik: I believe: - I can fly. - Children are the future. - Knowledge is power. - I will use my powers to defeat the future children.
@juliussharpe: I was at the beach and the lifeguard blew his whistle at me. Dude, I'm 40. I'm not listening to a teenager in a bathing suit.
@causticbob: You can lead a horse to water but it's pretty crowded there because of all the men you taught to fish in that other proverb.