@baronvonbike: I'm going to take up vaping because I am tired of people taking me seriously.
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@Breadery: Her: I like the man-horsey in this film. He's hot. Me: Centaur. H: What? M: Centaur H: Is that his name? M: I want a divorce.
@jonnysun: INTERVIEWER: do u have any weaknesses VIDEO GAME BOSS: [strugling to cover glowing weak spots all over body] UM
@djdarrellripley: Him: Hello, I'm Special Agent Johnson. Me: Well, somebody has a high opinion of himself.
@UncleBob56: What is it Lassie? Timmy fell down a well? Earthquake in LA? The Russians are coming? You found a plane? No? ...Oh, you want another beer.