@Mr_Kapowski: I'm gonna buy some cheese and put it behind glass with a sign that reads "In queso emergency, break glass"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jonnysun: [at a fancy restuarant] WIFE: make sure u leave a good tip ME: ok [writing on bill] "only evolve ur pokemon when uve activated a lucky egg"
@protolalia: I'm 39 years old and I still have no idea what I would do if a kangaroo entered my bedroom in the middle of the night.
@SadMeterologist: Airline passenger fell asleep on my shoulder. It was already awkward so I just went ahead & braided her hair.
@flashember: *Buys map of world, pins up on wall *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands *packs for wall 3 feet away *has an amazing time at wall