@Wanderlust6190: I'm gonna call my mom 26 times today to tell her about all the nothing that I'm doing, just to even the score.
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@Rollmaninoz: *coworker drinks coffee I made them* Me: I poisoned your coffee… Coworker: WHAT? Me:…with love! Coworker: oh haha me: The love for murder
@abhorrent_wife: Please, baseball fans. Enthrall me with complex details about a game where someone hits the ball with a stick and runs around in a circle.