@bfrosty04: I'm gonna go out on a limb and declare 'Drugs' the winner of the war on drugs.
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@KyleMcDowell86: told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she's coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco
@LostAtCollege: Emailing professors be like Me: *polite greeting, multiple paragraphs, perfect grammar* Professor: “sure” -sent from my iPhone
@WilliamAder: 9 out of 10 times, if you call the 1-800 number printed on a consumer product, the person who answers won't tell you what they're wearing.