@JohnASinclair: I'm gonna have a secret lair that consists of toilets and sinks. It'll be called "John Sinclair's john and sink lair"
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@KevinFarzad: Fellas, here's a flirting tip: If a girl plays with her hair while taking to you, it means she has lice and you should stay away from her.
@rockymomax: [freezing huddled around fire] Dont worry I brought blankets to keep us warm *throws blankets on fire* that should last a good half hour
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: WHO DREW ON THE WALL?! 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: The dog.
@djdarrellripley: The twin sisters that live next door to me, shower is broke so they're using mine. So, you know what that means... More hair in my drain.