@OVO_Ty15: I'm gonna put a Whoopee Cushion on the front of my car so that if I hit anything it'd atleast be a little funny.
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@SaraESpivey: When my ex worked out of town, he would take my vibrators away from me. Said I was cheating on him w/them. He shoulda taken his brother too.
@VictorscarletJ: Seriously...if you need a sign to remind you to wash your hands after taking a shit or piss. Stay home
@jwoodham: What do I look for in a girl? Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order.
@DaHess1: @BurgerKing I love the way all employees working the drive thru speak English as a 14th language. I just got a frog and an avocado.