@_eric_alexander: I'm gonna start carrying breath mints around in an engagement ring box just to briefly make women really uncomfortable during conversation.
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@MattOswaltVA: saw girl I have crush on with her new fiance at Ikea but you know what they say, when God closes a Stǿrås Innjørdën he opens a Főnstǝrviviǵ
@PoliticalGroove: Exposed Ashley Madison users feel hurt & betrayed, unsure if they can ever trust again.
@robdelaney: 23. RT @Highlights: Parents, at what age do you think it's okay for a child to get his or her own cell phone?
@badbanana: There's no sticker warning me not to eat this box of nails so I guess I'll just go for it.