@_eric_alexander: I'm gonna start carrying breath mints around in an engagement ring box just to briefly make women really uncomfortable during conversation.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jnthnwll: Prayed over the 8-piece Chick-Fil-A nugget I bought, then opened the box and found 12 nuggets. This is my testimony.
@ATorres2181: *walks in *wife is murdered *looks at mirror (Written in blood) YOUR NEXT "My next what? *from the closet "Oh sorry typo I meant you're.
@shutupmikeginn: A dog is in my studio apartment and he keeps looking around for other rooms. I wish i was doing a little better too dude !
@amphy1981: Life goals: Age 6: Be a pirate 10: Kiss more girls 16: Be 18 21: Be rich by 30 22 - 32: *File corrupted* 33: Improve on napping