@AimeeHelene1: I'm gonna start giving bad news to people in that cute, high pitched voice I use to talk to kids and dogs.
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@huntigula: [Anteater eats some termites] [looks up to heaven] "YOU DON'T CONTROL ME, GOD! YOU HEAR ME? I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU NAMED ME!"
@Storminika: Cops got new drunk driving tests. There's one they pull out a wallet-size photo of Whoopi Goldberg & ask you, 'Is she attractive?'
@jonnysun: Simba, everything the light touches is our kingdom "wat abot that shadowy place. by 5pm it wil be in the sun" ..who told you about science
@DrBacos: Shoutout to my Cold War reenactment group! We're just a bunch of chill white guys, sitting at a table, acting stressed about the USSR.