@AimeeHelene1: I'm gonna start giving bad news to people in that cute, high pitched voice I use to talk to kids and dogs.
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@KevinFarzad: It's always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say, "I love you" and they're like, "thank you for choosing Domino's."
@themiltron: FRIEND: What 3 books would you have on a desert island? ME: My first book is more books. F: What? These aren’t wish— M: Second book’s a TV.