@theDanLawler: I'm hiring a motivational speaker for my lazy eye.
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@DanMentos: confession: when my barber spins me around and hands me a mirror to check the back I just fake it. Who is even that coordinated?
@j88ess: Stop trying to make small talk with me in an elevator. It's 2013. Stare at your phone like a normal person
@JediGigi: Mom asked me what it's like being a single middle aged woman so I took a handful of cat & dog hair from my purse and threw it in her coffee.