@brownbear952: I'm hoping to avoid a situation where I have to dance to save my own life.
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@Brianhopecomedy: I'm working out again in hopes that I can wear my superhero shirt in public without someone saying, "Batman really let himself go".
@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: How did you get this black eye? Me: Walked into a door Doc: Really? Me: I was using my phone lying down and dropped it on my face
@glo_stevens: I just ate my yogurt with a fork, because I've learned that if it looks like you have your shit together, people ask you to do stuff.