@primawesome: I'm in pretty good shape for a grown man who believes the multivitamin I take every morning cancels out all the gas station food I eat.
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@internetluke: [restaurant] *motions for waiter* Waiter! Bill please! *Bill comes out & dances embarrassingly to entertain me & the guests* Thanks Bill!
@MableGertrude: If I was a bodybuilder I would slather up with grease and slide to work instead of driving to save money.
@cjwerleman: Today your brother-in-law will announce his plan to defeat ISIS. Happy Thanksgiving.