@DanKCharnley: I'm jealous of turtles because if they don't want to talk to someone, they're like "Nah, dude, busy in my shell right now. Come back later."
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@booyahchadly: Before sending a tweet l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential.
@tricycle_champ: BREAKING NEWS: Bread is extremely toxic to humans. "Just throw it all in a lake somewhere," says one long-billed scientist