@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm just a girl, with a baseball bat, smashing my internet modem into a gazillion pieces.
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@Mr_Kapowski: It doesn't matter if you can tell an Asian from a African elephant if it's charging you At that point, it's irrelephant
@Cali_Kid_Mike: So this smoke detector is trying to tell me the battery is so dangerously low that it can only beep 4000 times?
@underchilde: I never buy a new couch without first seeing what it looks like with five loads of laundry piled on top of it.
@Brianhopecomedy: My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn't even come close to my 5 year old's reaction when I told him that there's no school today.