@_SetTheHook_: I'm just gonna put an egg under my kid's pillows and tell them the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy must've went out drinking the night before.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@CM2BTTHD: My half-brothers had a Hungarian dad and an Eskimo dad. My dad was from Wales. Our dinner table was like the U.N...only with slapping.
@david8hughes: [ultrasound] Dr: your baby is 7mm in length Me [whispering to wife]: ask him Wife [sighs]: what is that in fruit sizes?
@FrogAvalanche: "How's the wine?" "House red?" "Yes." *sips, swills, spits* "Wow it's got too much body." "Sorry, I should have evicted the tenants first."