@VaguelyFunnyDan: I'm just sick of the mixed signals, babe. One second you're changing your phone number and the next you're filing a restraining order.
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@JohnLyonTweets: Me: Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know. Waiter: I asked if you were dining alone. Me: Oh, sorry. Yes.
@Bill_Nye_Tho__: s/o to parallel lines for keeping that shit platonic and never crossing. they keep a healthy professional work ethic
@kibblesmith: The genie sang that whole song about how he's gonna be Aladdin's best friend ever right in front of the monkey