@OhNoSheTwitnt: I'm keeping a greater distance behind this truck with a vanity plate that reads "IMTEXAN" than I do behind cars with "Baby on board" signs.
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@SalmaElWardany1: Watching Grey's Anatomy teaches me that if I'm really sad, I should walk slowly down a corridor to a Snow Patrol track.
@GrumpyComments: Tip for drowning your enemies: Paint pictures of people yawning on the bottom of their swimming pool.
@foodfacenow: Interview Boss: What could you bring to this company? Me: Well I guess I could bring my stereo, but I get to choose what we listen to.