@ItsAndyRyan: I'm lazy, but not 'The guy who named blackbirds' lazy.
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@iinkedZombie: [pet store] Me *looking at snakes* "CAN I FEED THEM?" Pet Store Employee [never looks up from his phone] sure. Me *putting my kids in tank*
@RealSamHarwood: Unless you are literally the Dark Lord Voldemort then a snake is just not an acceptable pet dude
@JackAsHell: If u ever rob someones house just bring guacamole that way if they catch you you can just yell surprise and tell them they're having a party