@ItsAndyRyan: I'm lazy, but not 'The guy who named blackbirds' lazy.
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@just1fool: Someday I'm gonna open a pawn shop and blow everyone's mind when I only sell rooks, bishops and knights.
@joejwest: ST BERNARD DOG: [getting ready for work] Honey have you seen my barrel? WIFE: Which one? SBD: The little one I wear AROUND MY NECK EVERY DAY
@Scdavis24: Tip Of the Day: You can easily avoid bruising your thigh by not staring at a female jogger and then walking into a fire hydrant.