@OreoSpeedwagon_: I'm like a Ferrero Rocher in that I'm quite nutty and go down nicely with wine. I also come in family size.
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@qwertying: Husband: [sends text] We need to break up. Wife: [sends text] WTF! Husband: [sends text] Sorry. That was meant to go to someone else.
@hazelmotes1: Alien: take me to your leader. Me: They all suck. How about I take you to this place I know where you can get amazing mini donuts?