@LeonEarlgrey: I'm like that guy at the beginning of infomercials that is unable to do simple shit, i just burns everything and i cant figure out blankets.
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@WildeThingy: Jamaica has declared war on drugs. Actually, they pretty much do everything on drugs.
@Jay_FrickinLynn: [Giving a toast] "It was when I was entering blackout that I realized I forgot the Plan B at home. Happy 1st birthday, you little accident."
@onion_an: [on date pretending not to be a dung beetle] Date: What's your favourite meal? Me: Poop Date: What? Me: SOUP, I like eating soup