@LeonEarlgrey: I'm like that guy at the beginning of infomercials that is unable to do simple shit, i just burns everything and i cant figure out blankets.
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@plank_sinatra: What if toilet plumbing was really like those tubes at the bank and all the tubes just went to this one guy's house and he's really pissed
@_davidlucas_: Me: How are you? Co-worker: *Gives 20 minute dissertation on their gastro infection*
@Aimiekins: You enter. "I've been expecting you," I say from behind the massive swivel chair. I put too much leg into turning around & spin for 5 mins.