@LeonEarlgrey: I'm like that guy at the beginning of infomercials that is unable to do simple shit, i just burns everything and i cant figure out blankets.
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@fujichia: - much ado about nothing - 2 much 2 nothing - much ado 3: toyko drift - much nothing - much 5 - much ado 6 - nothing 7
@Book_Krazy: [Therapist appt.] Hub: She doesn't have her priorities straight. *Me on FaceTime with a petting zoo in the background* "That's not true"
@maxhaarhaus: Her: so tell me a fun fact Me: the plural of octopus is really octopodes! H: I mean about yourself... M: ...I know the plural of octopus
@reczit: Eighty seven percent of single people are single because they don't want to share their pizza with anyone.