@Marlebean: I'm "misinterprets hand gesture and accidentally high fives your fist" white.
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@Dutch_50: The Carpenters: Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Me: Those aren't birds. They're giant blood sucking mosquitos.
@topaz_kell: Health Tip: If you find a pill on the floor of a public restroom, rinse it off before taking it.
@FrenulumBreve: Teenage Jesus: Hey dad, why you wearing that crucifix? God: It's an idea I have for a public holiday. TJ: Huh? G: It's complicated.
@WritePlay: PRIEST: The couple has chosen to write their own vowels HER: Shouldn't it be - HIM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA