@kissmeimkinky: I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.
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@Cheeseboy22: The Teen Choice Awards has to be the most legit award show because teens always make the best choices.
@Just_Lee_: The neighbor's dog has barked non stop for three hours. And now I know how the Chinese first discovered that dogs make a tasty snack.
@bombscribe: I just unlocked the "My House Was Robbed Because I Checked in on Foursquare" badge on Foursquare!
@shkeeber: Things safer than flying Malaysia Airlines: -Badger juggling -Heroin enemas -Grenade soup -Live cobra condoms -Roman candle tampons -Ebola