@FreudsTwin: I'm no Exorcist, but i did scare the hell out of someone once.
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@Mish3l_Ali: Girls can be so ungrateful, I made her breakfast in bed, & instead of saying "Thank You", she's all like "How did you get into my house!"
@hiitsmolly: "I could probz bench press, like, five of you"-me talking to a cool squirrel I just met
@SuperRandomish: I imagine the best part about driving a smart car is that when there's no parking spots you can just put it in your backpack.
@wolfpupy: at the grampys, about to anounce who won the grampy award. open envelope. its grandpa!!! you did it congratulations