@ParaJanitor: I'm no gynecologist, but I'll take a look.
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@10InchesPlus: I hate when I toss some cold pizza in the microwave, check Twitter real quick and when I come back I've missed 3 mortgage payments.
@Tmoney68: [Doctor's Office] Dr: I'm not going to candy-coat this.... Me: *misses bad results of test because I'm imagining a coat made of Skittles*
@chuuew: "Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?" "Go on then" "NOT THE KRYPTONITE!" "That's Superman" "Thanks, I've been practicing."