@Darlainky: I’m not a bad person, although once I blew a paper straw cover at my husband and it stuck in a lady’s hair and I didn’t tell her.
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@JohnLyonTweets: Psychic: Which of you wants the reading, you or your ex-wife? Me: She’s my current wife. Wife: [to psychic] Oh, you’re good.
@Adar79Angie: Since Walking Dead isn't on I've hid pot from my stoner friends. As they amble around looking for it I'm shooting them with paint ball guns.
@brendanmcginley: Cleveland checks its makeup in the mirror, promises itself this time with LeBron won't be like before.