@EnvysDeadNana: I'm not above apologizing for my drunken behavior I'm just sick of repeating myself
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@TheMichaelRock: Ghostbusters is my favorite movie where Bill Murray yells at a giant marshmallow man for stepping on a church.
@iwearaonesie: *wife spends all morning convincing son not to be afraid of the dentist* "Dad are you coming too?" Hell no dentists scare the shit out of me
@yerpalmildsauce: Me: If that baby won't stop crying I'm walking out & going to another restaurant. Gf: You used to do that too. Me: that was months ago.