@toomanytoes: I'm not afraid of the Bermuda triangle or any triangle really. Even played at its most aggressive it's just not a threatening instrument.
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@AlexRogaski: The squirrels on campus are getting bold. I was eating a pop tart outside and a squirrel came over and stole my credit card information
@pleatedjeans: Interviewer: I don't see a phone # for your reference Me: he is a duck I feed bread to at the park you will have to speak to him directly
@hennaahmedx: *me in highschool* friend: omg!! I just got into a fight with my boyfriend what do i do :(( me: aw it’s okay just talk it out!! u guys will be fine! It’s true love!! ❤️❤️❤️ *me now* friend: omg! My boyfrie- me: leave him. friend: but it wasn’t even- me: leave. him.
@deardilettante: Him: why doesn't anyone want me? Me: I want you. Him: why doesn't anyone else want me?