@weinerdog4life: I'm not allowed at the gym anymore because I dropped my chili dog on the treadmill
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@JuliaChildCIA: "I have found our arguments quite useful - almost as useful as those I had with my father." - Spock and the guy I end up marrying.
@Fickle_Filly: It's rude to upstage the bride on her wedding day but that's exactly what's going to happen when I burst into flames as I enter the church.
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: what's your biggest weakness? Me: ha nice try I: excuse me? M: that's how Lex Luthor beat Superman. I'm not stupid.
@Reverend_Scott: [Paranormal Investigator shows up at Disney World] Ok, show me this so-called "haunted mansion"