@weinerdog4life: I'm not allowed at the gym anymore because I dropped my chili dog on the treadmill
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheFearBoners: When God closes a door, He opens a window. God does not give a shit about your electric bill.
@Matt_The_1st: Me: "Hey doc, what's that condition where you wake up and everything hurts?" Doctor: "40"
@dinnersruined: DATE: *sighs* You said you were a professional body builder. ME: I am! I make prosthetics. Ha ha! And funny jokes! Wait where are you going?
@internetluke: [sex ed in middle school] Teacher: "Today we are having sex ed" Ed: hell yeah we are! Teacher: "Education"