@BatBatshitcrazy: I'm not an introvert; I'm just a very inept extrovert.
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@GaryJanetti: I just found out five people I went to high school with are dead. What's taking the rest of them so long?
@ericsshadow: [me holding a door] PRETTY GIRL: [over her shoulder] thanks. ME: sorry, i'm married, but in time you'll get over me.
@mjkspeaks: Not to brag, but I can spend hours coming up with reasons not to do something that takes 5 minutes.